Deep Thoughts 3.0, Chapter 2
Mom, have you ever traveled to another planet?
He's eery, like a catfish.
Misunderstood lyrics:
Take me to Dutch showers like dog in the side of the light.
I can tell you my secrets so you can shop in the night.
I believe my destiny was two firths and maybe a right.(Hozier - Take me to Church)
Honeydew; couldn't escape if I wanted to. (ABBA - Waterloo)
Can't Find My Way Home
In that moment, my choice meant accepting what would never be and being someone who could let my mother delight in her reality even if it wasn't mine. I felt at peace. I knew too that the hurt will come back to me again. Followed by the choice to feel it, breathe it out and move on.
Read moreDeep Thoughts 3.0, chapter 1
I no longer have a toddler. Sorry to realize I haven't captured half the funny things both girls have said to me in their innocent observations. Still, things come up in conversation that are delightfully naive. Version 3.0 captures the braintrust of both my hearts as they navigate this big world.
Can you pause the book?
I'm reading the book... It's me... There's no "pausing"...
Yeah. Pause the book. I want to go look at that bug.
I wish we could hear dogs words so we could hear them.
Now THAT was a fart! (self congratulatory)
I can see that your hands are ticklish.
(and they're going to tickle you.)
I'm not scared of anything but monsters. Because they could be alive, like water snakes.
They guessed my favorite color was blue. And then Story guessed it was Turquoise but then I told them it was aquamagreen.
Misunderstood lyrics
Ooh Woo, I'm a rebel with a kickstand. (Portugal. The man)
We made this city all over the world. (Starship)
Can you pause the book?I'm reading the book... It's me... There's no "pausing"...
Yeah. Pause the book. I want to go look at that bug.
I wish we could hear dogs words so we could hear them.
Now THAT was a fart! (self congratulatory)
I can see that your hands are ticklish.
(and they're going to tickle you.)
I'm not scared of anything but monsters. Because they could be alive, like water snakes.
They guessed my favorite color was blue. And then Story guessed it was Turquoise but then I told them it was aquamagreen.
Misunderstood lyrics
Ooh Woo, I'm a rebel with a kickstand. (Portugal. The man)
We made this city all over the world. (Starship)
Remembering you, friend.
Today and every day.
The movement of time
Long ago.
It was taken from you: the hopefulness, the joy.
You became a warrior too soon.
Different groups and still no one felt like home.
Armor.
To protect you from deep hurt. Deeper rage.
Alone.
Because it was safe and easy.
Lost.
In your expectation of what should be happening and what is the truth.
Immobilized.
From how to move forward with your head up high.
Now.
Learning to open your heart to the moment.
to the possibilities.
to the people.
It was taken from you: the hopefulness, the joy.
You became a warrior too soon.
Different groups and still no one felt like home.
Armor.
To protect you from deep hurt. Deeper rage.
Alone.
Because it was safe and easy.
Lost.
In your expectation of what should be happening and what is the truth.
Immobilized.
From how to move forward with your head up high.
Now.
Learning to open your heart to the moment.
to the possibilities.
to the people.
Deep Thoughts 2.0, chapter 3
No... it's from a store... called... Lipstick.
It's not my forte.
It's not my fart day either.
(Because we found ourselves at a Latin Mass Sunday morning - long story - and I had to answer a lot of questions):
Why is Jesus on that cross? Brutal.
So Jesus died? Yes. And when's he coming back? Technically he already did. I didn't see him come back. Well no not here today. I mean, they think here today, but like physically not here today...
Why did Jesus need fairy seeds? No, he needed the Philases (or however they spell it).
What are they eating? The body of... ugh! Little tiny pieces of cracker.
108 leads to a 180
Sunday afternoon I choose a yoga class that fit in to my schedule. It didn't sound inviting to me at all, outside welcoming a new season. As homage to Spring Equinox, the practice would consist of doing 108 sun salutations.
Pinto beans. The instructor asked me to grab 11 when I went in the studio. As the class began, she explained the beans would help us keep count in sets of ten, the last group only being 8. I realized I was one short.
The first ten we did together as a group. Moving through the sun salutation and clapping at the end of each one to count off. When we reached ten she left us to finish the rest at our own pace.
I don't remember the teens clearly. I started thinking about what age I was at certain numbers. I got lost in counting, of course.
At twenty, I moved my first bean off the mat vertical to the horizontal line on the mat. The solo bean made me picture a boat sail and I thought about making an image with the rest. At 25, I clapped my hands. There was a cover by a female singer of, "I melt with you". It loosened my need to be disciplined in my asana.
At thirty, I took a sip of water and moved another bean. At 39, I thought about how close to present I felt. At 41, there was no option other than to be present. I clapped again.
Then, I began the journey of the unknown. I was faced with 60 some years and keeping track with numbers rather than intuition.
At fifty, I stopped for more water and decided to pound a beans worth out to keep things moving along. I started jumping and rolling through transitions more. Towards 60 I realized I was "cheating" myself because I was muscling through the movements.
I stayed internal and followed my cupped hands a lot as I floated into each new salutation. I would dance my way back up from down dog to forward bend. The meditation was awesome.
At 70, the teacher started to talk about people finishing up. The woman next to me moved at the same pace I did. I sensed her movements and we were in sync many times. Except I noticed she had less beans. I then pounded through the 80s.
At 100 I finished my water. I had one bean left since I didn't move one after the original ten. There were 8 sun salutations to go. Jen recommended we do them slowly to cool down. I ditched the numbers and lead my focus with gratitude to:
- my feet.
- my knees.
- my hips.
- my stomach.
- my heart.
- my shoulders.
- my throat.
- my head.
She said we could return the beans to the bag or take them with us. I forgot them at first when I let the studio and went back to pick them up. I think I'll plant them and see what sprouts.
The Original
I saw Saturn this past year through a telescope. It was one of the highlights of my year. It's funny to say since it looked like little more than a low res version of a photo of the planet that I might find on the web. But it was cool because for a brief moment, lenses and mirrors were reaching across our universe to project one beautiful planet into my world.
I took miss M to see it. I had promised her we would star gaze one night at Observatory Park. We skipped the talk and went straight to the telescope. I forgot what a beautifully 'ancient' tool it is in an old building. As I watched them adjust the wooden ladder so she could climb it, I thought about my Dad watching me do the same. Though I wasn't as young when I visited this place with him, I'm sure he navigated me through moments of apprehension knowing the payoff would be awesome.
We stopped at the Biosphere 2 during my college visit to check out the University of Arizona. During the tour he kept reminding me that the earth was the original biosphere. Typing this, I wish remembered more about the visit and about the things he tried to teach me that he knew and found interesting.
Still, looking at this photo, I see one of the most important things: one of my original friends in this biosphere and love... so much love.
“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.” - Carl Sagan
I took miss M to see it. I had promised her we would star gaze one night at Observatory Park. We skipped the talk and went straight to the telescope. I forgot what a beautifully 'ancient' tool it is in an old building. As I watched them adjust the wooden ladder so she could climb it, I thought about my Dad watching me do the same. Though I wasn't as young when I visited this place with him, I'm sure he navigated me through moments of apprehension knowing the payoff would be awesome.
We stopped at the Biosphere 2 during my college visit to check out the University of Arizona. During the tour he kept reminding me that the earth was the original biosphere. Typing this, I wish remembered more about the visit and about the things he tried to teach me that he knew and found interesting.
Still, looking at this photo, I see one of the most important things: one of my original friends in this biosphere and love... so much love.