Looking Back

January 24, 2025 Amy Maillet

I’ve always existed at the nexus of the American dream falling apart. I was eight when my parents were going through a separation which slowly led to a divorce ten years later. The marriage hadn’t been healthy since I could remember but we were all holding on to some semblance of what we thought was the thing we had to do; the way it had to look.

My sisters and I were very much entrenched in that dream and the privilege of being set up for success in the future. My parents handed me quite a bit, but there was always something about it that felt like complete bullshit. The structure was crumbling and I was just trying to make it out alive. It took me a long time to make sense of it all. I still wrangle with it.

Formidable Ambiguity

July 5, 2024 Amy Maillet

There are versions of you that haven’t been born yet.

Grit, Fiber and Pluck

July 1, 2024 Amy Maillet

I have yet to uncover that stone of worthiness that will make me feel most aligned. I still ache to believe in myself more and become this beautiful creative being I know exists. She’s always been there: my own private Stevie Nicks.

Prickly Pair

June 8, 2024 Amy Maillet

Neither had the intimacy of others, only the occasional bird willing to explore.

The Day I Die

February 27, 2024 Amy Maillet

This is not the solemn low drone of letdown, with an honest knowing that life is as it should be. Rather this grief is the long traverse of deep sorrow into a valley, with stumbles over rocks and potential drops that leave you marred for life. It is a graceless fall, crashing along the way, to the bottom of it all.

Taking Up The Slack

February 4, 2024 Amy Maillet

The strange reality is both my parents are gone now, and with that the final hints of true devotion only a parent has for their child. The last of that echo, however faint it became these past few years, is now truly gone.

Ghosted

January 29, 2024 Amy Maillet

How can death drive two distinct states of being? That which is a mystery can be quite unnerving and curious all at once. Whatever comes for us, either good or bad, is a connection not to be ignored.

Any Old Day Will Do

January 27, 2024 Amy Maillet

I collect bits and pieces of versions of you I didn’t even know, and somehow it makes me feel less alone, as if an old friend is staring back.

Oddly Even

January 24, 2024 Amy Maillet

I’ve grown highly aware of all the versions of me that have existed like ripples through my lifetime. Not only the ones streaming farther away from me now as I grow older but also the ones left to come through me.

Let’s improve it.