Simple Song

The Shins

I've never had a song written about me. It's one of those things I silently desire but when faced with the reality of my life, I'm not putting my money on the compliment. One of the best compliments I have however received was from D, saying I inspired him. I hold that compliment in place of the poetry my untold song lyrics paint. It is D's poetry. His way is more subtle than stanzas and I tend to digest it in the silence of my thoughts later. 

Tonight he came home talking about the Gotye song again. It has been in his head for at least a week now since we watched the Somebody That I Used To Know video and I showed him the video of the cover by Walk Off the Earth. I can't tell you how many times we watched it (I forgot about how cool music videos can be). D gets something in his head and puts it on repeat for hours...days; he likes to study it to no end. When he walked in today, he was telling me how he listened to the radio all day and they played the Gotye a lot. I already knew that because I am the last person on the planet that still likes listening to the radio on a daily basis. He mentioned another song that he really liked that was being played a lot too. I knew it was Simple Song by the Shins. Once I called it up on itunes, it was there in our life playing a special concert for us as his head nodded yes to my music identification. 

We went back and forth about the lyrics, about the meaning and music as we ate dinner and bathed miss M. D contends that it is an almost perfect song, a masterpiece that might live through the ages. Later, he went downstairs while I went up to work. As I climbed the stairs I heard him in his office watching the Shins' video. I had to check it out too and find their NYC concert I watched a few weeks ago on NPR. I found this acoustic version of James Mercer singing the song in his studio and have had it on repeat the entire night.


You sure must be strong
and you feel like an ocean made warm by the sun

I contend that the song is about love, about discovering another soul aligned with yours and letting them lift you out of your wallow. It's about fantasizing the good stuff, risking your heart, and making a connection. Just this afternoon I was thinking about how all we really have in this life is whole-heartedly sharing our experiences with those we hold close, even if sometimes it means we find unrequited love. I've come to welcome the bleeding (if I don't take the heartbreak too seriously) as much as the laughter for how alive it can make me feel. After listening to the song for hours on end, I contend it is about how our silent desires can fuel the most powerful experiences we live. It's about how our presence is what really brings people joy.

In so many ways the song feels like home. I do think it will be a piece of art to be enjoyed for years to come. Somewhere in the repeat waves of lyrics, I realized I have no clue what someone would write about me in a song. I would take this song in heartbeat but I'm sure it is someone else's tune. Instead, I'll take the evening, the familiarity of my love, and his inquisitiveness, which inspires me.

Love's such a delicate thing that we we do,
with nothing to prove,
which I never knew.

Each Friend...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm a vision board type. This month, I'm changing it out; making space for fresh, new meditations in my life. I pulled down all my clippings this morning and I'm letting them go. I want to find something new to mull over in my mind. As I discard all these thoughts that normally I would pack in to in a box somewhere to save for my eyes to review when I'm 80, I want to catch this quote and hold it in my history.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not possibly born until they arrive, 
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

Wait a Minute



We went up to the property last weekend. It was the first official weekend up there as a family and D would have had preferred it a month ago if he could have made it possible. I was not so ready for the season of weekend warriors. As we drove up, I told him May was early for camping (not that swingin' equals real camping...). He disagreed, saying March was early but not May with a tone that implied it might as well be the middle of June. It was good to get away from Denver city. The mountains were quiet, so to speak, since it's still early in the season. The weather was nice though a little chill hung in the air. We went to visit the Harris clan at their campsite. Sunday afternoon, a storm moved in across the valley and by sunset we were in the mix of a thunderstorm that changed to hail that changed to snowfall. We woke up to this scene Monday morning. As they say, if you don't like the weather in Colorado wait a bit and it will change.

Mother's Day 2012

D made Mother's Day complete with flowers, a copper watering can, and a funny Flintstone-illustrated card signed by him, M and H (who spent the night). I whole-heartedly threw down my obligations standing over a hot mammoth trunk scrubbing dishes with a porcupine and embraced the moment. 


The day was light and fun, we all laughed quite a bit. We are getting to the point where hanging with miss M feels so comfortable. I realized it one night as all three of us were in her room unwinding for the evening. I realized the moment felt so fluid and relaxed and that she was just as comfortable hanging out as we were. We can joke and we can not say anything at all and it still is really awesome. 


Having H over to hang out brings this whole other dynamic too; one where M laughs and plays with him in an elitist toddler way. It's fun to watch them in their own world, chattering like a couple of stuffed-mouthed chipmunks. I'm getting to a point these days where I sometimes have to catch myself laughing when I should be "reprimanding" her - like when she was showing off to H by putting a penny in her mouth. I went to grab it and she swallowed it. They both started laughing while I neurotically tried to figure out what to do next. 




How does this little soul continue to amaze me so much? I find myself in moments daily where I almost start to cry at how beautiful she is to me. My heart swoons when she's truly happy and she wraps her little arm around my shoulder and pats me on the back or when she plants a soft, doughy kiss on my lips. I'm amazed by her development, her curiosity and her comprehension (including her desire to try saying new words such as "fuck" or "fucking" or "fucker" after her mom has demonstrated using the word with a rabid intensity that makes it so enticing). I watch with joy as she randomly dances to music that comes on the radio or spins around in circles just for fun (which I believe definitely calls for a tutu). I'm even more proud when she randomly laughs at something that strikes her as funny or greets another person in our everyday adventures with the sweetest little "hi" and wave. She is my true gift.

P.S. I have no clue why miss M is smelling the Goldfish cracker but she is already 
showing signs of a much more distinguished palate than me.

Underwater Play



Miss M and I went to the Denver Zoo the other day and got caught up at the sea lion exhibit; at the windows where you can watch what happens in their underworld. She has never been taken by them the way she was the other day. For some odd reason, the zoo crowds were foregoing the lower level that day so it felt like a secret reprieve. I liked the escape so I could take in my girl in yet another moment of discovery. We shared the joy and beauty of these animals together, mostly alone in the shade with their silent swiftness to keep us buoyed in place.

Watching the sea lions swim by creates such a wave of excitement. They pass the windows and tumble together in the water playing, streaming right by you. Then they swim on back to the other end of their cage. That elated feeling dissipates. Everything stills in the water and little bubbles drift to the surface. The streams of sunlight take center stage. As the calm returns, you look deep in to the tank and see their shapes growing larger again. 

Swinger Art Night


D was happy to get the Swinger all dolled up for an art night with the ladies. He didn't even mind being the only guy in the group (who am I kidding, that guy never turns down a chance to be the only guy surrounded by ladies). He kept telling me I had to "prepare" more for the evening but I kept telling him, these ladies and art nights in general don't warrant an obscene amount of planning. They are more free and easy than that; things just unfold and, personally, that's why I like it so much.

In any case his little seed was planted firmly in my head and I did end up searching for some cool gallery event that night to head to because part of the delight of the Swinger is feeling like you are on parade while driving down the street. It's like having your own personal city bus to yourself...and you could be making something in an oven while you roll. I didn't find anything cool to do so we settled for City Park and the sweet relaxation of just hanging out in a motor home. Julie walked us through her branding work for Lassen Ale Works at the Pioneer Saloon, a new venture in Susanville, CA. It was fun to review/brainstorm about her ideas for beer labels, coasters, and the logo itself. She really has been working her tail off on some cool designs (as always). I can't wait to see it all in play with a cold beer in hand!