The Rise of Wise

A fingernail sliver of the moon hung behind the branches of a tree. She felt lightened by its presence. 

The night was becoming unfamiliar to her because she was spending less time with it. The days were growing longer and so when darkness set in, she was already worn from the day. She did not pursue the night and it’s delicacies as she did in winter. Rather she tired at twilight and set to settle soon after that. She forgot the silent wisdom it brought.

Though it was Spring, her body didn’t conspire the energy of youth as much. She was stepping back from her compulsions and observing more. Realizations came to her like the weight of a lover's eyes catching hers from afar.  It was subtle and glorious with the volume turned down so she had to settle to hear it.

Solid. Stable. True.

Sister, we both ache for this world to be more heartfelt and humble. We have found ways to survive while putting aside our disappointment about what is not. We are told we are sheep and we must be weary of the wolf.

Yet the feminine spirit is alive and well. She has been chained for too long but will always overcome. You are a heartbeat of this spirit. You are part of this greater knowing. 

Really we are timeless rays of light that can be blocked but never broken. Together we reach across the sky to release the darkness. We work as one - stronger together than we are alone.

We are the wolf.

The Hypothesis

I had it all but then I lost it.

Over and over.

Moments of clarity washed away fear and doubt.

Then, again, I stumbled in darkness.

My weaknesses only to be revealed and devoured by predators
too scared of their own imperfections.

But I am not a victim here.

I still have drive within me.

I do, I do, I promise myself I do.

Yesterday

We didn’t realize we were walking through a portal; leaving one world to find a new one. I can see it now, how everything around us is seemingly the same but entirely different. 

Perhaps my perspective has shifted and I can no longer ignore what I was putting myself through to "succeed." I wasn’t succeeding. 

Yet still I crave to contribute, to be a strategic thinker and risk taker building a world where we are not bound by hierarchy or white supremacy but rather our presence, our ability to show up.

Choose Love

I’ve been moving furniture and purging a lot of stuff lately. It has loosened my energy so much. I truly feel a lot more fluid. Perhaps that’s why I have had so many strange dreams lately. Many leave me feeling anxious or fearful about what I am doing in them - mostly experiencing uncontrollable circumstances around me. I feel scared at every turn. 

It happened last night and I woke up yelling. I knew I needed to get up and write but I didn’t, I was scared. It feels like a muse is calling out to me and I want it to, but I’m too scared to do the hard work, too scared to find out what an interaction would bring. I can’t see its face, I can’t judge it before I let it into my life. I have to trust it without seeing it, without knowing for sure if it’s safe or not.

 
My inability to trust has been with me since I was a child. It feels like jumping off a cliff or trying to fly without knowing if I really can. I anticipate disappointment, of not being able to survive the thing, so I stay on safe ground. I continue to miss opportunity upon opportunity to grow and change and become some new form of myself. 

I always say I will choose love over fear but really I choose fear again and again. Strange isn’t it: that love is the harder choice, the one that requires more courage?

The Cellular Level

We are the flowers, we are the fruit. We carry the weight of life in our bodies. It is cellular for us: the nurturing, the growing, the blooming - that is our legacy. We can’t deny it even when we try. We are given to growth, given to hope, turning our beings toward the light. There’s so much to do and yet there is no need to rush. Time is a constraint built by men. Life unfolds at rates we can’t begin to understand. It is a dance with unseen forces that encourages our presence in the moment. Over and over again we meet it with as much grace as we can muster. Sometimes we meet it with a fiery flame built on the matter of things that must be released.