The light began to seep through the dark days of silence and a loosening came to the space she wrapped herself in. For so long, she has been tightened to her being, disappearing away from even her body to retreat to the depth of her existence. She wasn't sure if she was searching or letting go; perhaps she was doing a bit of both. In the safety of her swaddle, she came apart to leave behind the world she knew.
There is a little comfort in falling away. She had been answering the compulsion to consume for so long: to crave, to chew, to carry-on. It felt right and clear and true. Until a murmur came to her, slowly harkening then surging faster and fuller until she could no longer hear anything else.
She had enough the day she finally retreated to a quiet space. She found a spot to settle and wrapped herself to keep warm and safe. She disappeared inside.
Silence.
Slowness.
Slow.
Slower.
Slowest movements called to her and so she listened.
The darkness began to weigh on her and break apart heavy barriers she had built. She loosened to the lightness. She began to consider what life would be like if she conjured that feeling more. It seemed an impossibility to float so easily over existence. It was unlike anything she had known before.
The feeling nudged at her, similar to the consumption she used to crave. It felt real and true to her being.
She sensed a shift and the murmuring grew as she amplified the echo. At first she merely listened and learned from the call. Then she began to believe in its value and power. Somehow the feeling became part of her.
Deep in the heart of this coming apart, there was no clear way home. She salvaged the pieces she loved and found new parts to use for what she didn't have. There was no guarantee she would be able to put herself together again so she took a new form and moved differently through the world. She shifted her entire existence and yet everything around her stayed the same.