Play Dough

A while back, someone on Facebook wondered why the maker of Playdough hated moms so much? I always think about that when miss M wants to pop open a container of the stuff. She always wants to eat it (and when it's the prepackaged neon colored stuff from China, my blood boils at the thought of the chemicals she's mulling about in her mouth). The other day though, I was fine with some home-mixed dough at the Children's Museum - though I make it a practice to tell her not to eat it anyway because she has no sense of colors and can't decipher neon orange from a nice fluffy homemade pink.


She is at the entryway of what people come to tell me is the "terrible twos". There are already tantrums on the floor, like an Italian mother sobbing as if she has just lost her son in the war. There are also moments when she knowingly is pushing the boundaries and making sure my full attention is on her; I have to hide my smile at how charmingly cute and totally f'd up it is all in one moment. Like the other day when she was sitting in a group in the middle of the room watching as everyone took turns mixing the Playdough. She turned around to me and waved across the room to get my attention. My heart swooned thinking she missed me already, just ten feet away. Then ever so slowly and purposefully she put some Playdough in her mouth and started chewing it while she devilishly smiled at me knowing I couldn't come grab that dough out of her mouth. It cracks me up and makes me shiver at what's to come...

A Good Blubber

M fell asleep in her car seat. I stopped the conversation to try and wake her but she was already out. Truth be told, I wasn't so bothered (this meant I would miss afternoon nap time) because I wanted a few minutes alone with Amy. As I pulled in to the parking space next to her car, I knew I was going to cry; these were tears of joy and tears of sorrow.

We have gotten used to a good blubber in recent years. Amy nourished me in those early months of motherhood when things felt so raw. I like to think I helped her through some hard stuff too. We found ourselves apologizing for our vulnerabilities only to realize it was silly since we were in the presence of an old, caring friend. I hold it as a treasure that I was able to cry around her; perhaps letting go some of my lion's pride and ego. I have always felt so unencumbered around her. Can you imagine when we first met in high school she said to me one day, "don't you ever stay silent for a few minutes?" Me?! 

It felt nice to have her physically close again. She introduced me to cross country skiing and some beautiful trails outside Boulder. We got visit her at Frog Belly Farm and learn some pieces of what she was learning. She gave me an acupuncture treatment and essences and always her sage advice. We could discuss topics I rarely talk about with other people and watching her with miss M and Ginger was always so beautiful. It makes me so happy to see people I love enjoy each other's company as much as me. As a family, we all felt good when Amy came around.

The whole time she was here, I knew she would leave again. I tried to connect with her as much as I could; which at this point in life is one day a month if I'm lucky. It meant sitting in a hot tub at the rec center for an hour while M was in child care or coming over to the house while she napped. I treasured any time with her. In this way, I'm glad I wasn't working too much because it provided more opportunity for us to get together.

There are so many amazing things Amy participates in. She always reminds me to return to me. She settles me and leaves me feeling lighter. She brings a sense of magic and connectivity to it all.

I have seen her come and go many times: to Vermont, to Japan, to Alaska, to Portland, to Boulder, to Nepal, and now, to return to her Homer. Truly a journey she has been on for 7 years. Inspiring because she left that beautiful town to become a licensed acupuncturist so she could return to that community and contribute with her healing heart. When I was up there five years ago, I knew I had to come back one day when she lived there again. The stars aligned these past few weeks and now she is headed north.


Though I know there are so many great ways to keep in touch with people these days, it also is the end of a chapter. I'm just better with proximity. At this point in my life, I've said enough goodbyes to know how distance affects friendship. Truly there is no sweeter nectar than a friend sitting next to you. That is the beauty of living in the present.

I cried all the way home. M woke up when I tried to transfer her and cried out for Amy in confusion. And then she understood, "Amy buh bye?" Yes but we will visit her soon and she will always be in our heart.

Together Again

WOW what a difference a year makes...



With my hard drive crashing, I'm just happy I have this old photo to compare to the new one ("yuck" was the past week going through that...). Still, I think these two have a lot of swinging to do together in their future so I'm hoping for more yearly markers like this second photo, which I just realized might match up with the one from last August.

Leroy


If there ever was a dog who really introduced me to the beauty of the canine way of life, it was Leroy. I wasn't so sure about the whole thing when Sophia found him, but quickly I managed to open my heart. He taught me how awesome it is to have a dog-friend in your life. Leroy was good with loyalty and love and in some cases, a curious humor that seemed pigheaded at times. He was around for the crazy days of the Helen house in college and was as "knowing" as my other roommates when it comes to the things we did in those days that you don't just type out on the internet these days. I like to think he had as many fond memories about back then as we all do.


Most times when I went to Cali to see Chena and Sophia, I got to visit him too. This past February when we visited the Austins, Maddie got to meet him. When we left that weekend, I knew that would be my last time seeing him. Aside from all the friends he had, I think Sophia's love had tremendous sway with lengthening his lifetime as much as possible. It's no surprise he held strong to his good, happy life - a 16 year haul for the sprightly lab.

 Goodbye old friend.

Puppy Dogs and Kittens


It really doesn't get much cuter than puppies and kittens on the 4th of July (or on the Saturday after the fourth of July picnic on Indian Mountain). 


My old same drove up for the day to visit with her girl, who miss M adores. Can you see why?!


I love the photos she took though she didn't click one of us (and I see so much Meg and Amy in these faces as it is). Perhaps we were more taken by the children's activities and our vino back at "camp".
It looks like he is whispering something in her ear...
"Psst, you got any bacon? Well let me lick the leftover lunch off your neck anyway."

Perhaps in seeing them we see pieces of us and our 25+ year friendship; the beauty of life in general.  Still, next time we should take a click of us on the swings...if for nothing more than historical reference.

Just Swinging (again)


We went up and spent a long weekend at the Swinger. D took miss M and Gingy up Friday night and I joined them on Saturday. We spent the time bike riding, visiting Terryall Reservoir and Salida, and eating some delicious treats, especially at our new favorite breakfast sport in Como (post to come). We returned on the 4th to the hustle and bustle of the ghetto: the obnoxiously loud illegal fireworks that were being set off at 10:30 pm (did these people not get the memo that CO was literally on fire last week and yes I am getting in touch with my inner old lady). The slow life of the Mountain seemed to suite me just fine: no wireless and no phone (for the most part), no noise, just the occasional rain storm.


(I just love this video, her first time kicking her legs)