You know, I was feeling a little more
Charlie Brown than
Vince Guaraldi Trio this year as Christmas finally rolled around. It was the culmination of a lot of chaos leading up to the holidays and, as always, so many get
togethers that are too good to pass up. I wasn't finding the time to do the blog entries I wanted,
journaling regularly, or working out - the list goes on. The end of the year always seems like the bottom of a spiral that way: circling tighter and tighter and moving faster each day.
Three weeks ago I made my annual pilgrimage to Ultimate Electronics at 6 am to stand in line for the
KBCO Studio C CD. Since Volume 10, I have been there every year. My sisters come if they can, the Bong sisters come if they can, friends come if they can, and we all stand there freezing in the cold and regaling the people around us with politically incorrect comments and bad humor that seems so good before the sun comes up. This year, it was as cold as ever, felt as early as ever, and made me realize Christmas was just around the corner.
Two weeks ago, I was sure the spirit would sink in as I found myself compiling Rooster Plumbing cards and watching Mrs. Miracle on Lifetime one quiet Friday night; sadly James Van Der Beek and the second rate Christmas activities did not flip me in to the spirit (perhaps I need Pacey). My purchase of a poinsettia that Sunday started to ease me in to the waters.
A week and a half ago, I created my holiday bow and hung the holiday cards (sadly collecting on my desk) from the long strands of ribbon. Finally the goodness of the season was one display and it felt more like home. I came in every day to find the mail and sing in my head, "It's the most wonderful time of the year."
Weeks past my normal release, I was falling short with my holiday card (always my favorite yearly activity). I wasn't finding the time to do the card the way I usually do... or compile the CD that accompanies the message. Still I rallied last Sunday with the help of a good istock-base that I adjusted to fit the message I was trying to send to family and friends. I felt like a cheat but I still managed to do something. That night I got all the out-of-towner cards stamped and sealed. It was days before Christmas and I was craving a peaceful, happy home myself.
With the cards finally mailed and Christmas Eve looming, I got lost in the mix of listening to the
Christmas Time is Here on repeat at work. Later, I found myself walking home and letting it continue to repeat in my ear. There was something about the twinkling lights of the city and the smooth sound: it felt soft, almost the same way it feels when it’s about to snow. Even the punk couple walking across the street yelling something seemed so appropriate in the flow of it all. I still felt like Charlie Brown, even if my life
wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be, it still somehow was good.
