We were given an ancestry, a land to anchor to and understand. We were beholden to objects and experiences we were told to value from others. Our family handed over these things, and we were indoctrinated into the expectations that sooner or later we would carry forth and pass on. For fear that if we didn’t, we would become an outcast to all that we knew, everything that was wholly familiar.
But even the familiar falls away, flaking off or mutating into a new form. It’s mesmerizing really how this river of time carries us forth over rapids, through eddies, around great long, slow curves, and under objects. All the while the flora and fauna observing our traverse. Who are we to join the ranks and watch time flow by as well? Steady in your presence, anchored to yourself.
I was raised to listen. To follow directions. To pick up after myself. To stand in line. To do the right thing. To value others more than my needs. To be pious. To brush my hair and clean my nails. To not go barefoot. To wear a uniform. To get good grades. To be kind. To not ask too many questions. To be amicable. To keep my head down. To not make waves. To be steady. To be relentlessly loyal.
I’ve come to value laughing often. Feeling my emotions. Believing in myself. Standing up for things. Taking time. Responding rather than reacting. Being a mess. Holding my own hand. Holding on for dear life. Embracing the moment. Telling someone what they mean to me. Being honest with myself. Not hiding the truth. Embracing imperfection. Celebrating my gifts. Not worrying as much about others.
To change.