Waking up from another day of demo. I’m sore and feel extra tired. My hands hurt to touch and my shoulders feel the strain of my arms being over my head for hours yesterday. I was ripping out the door frame in the kitchen, and it took over four hours to do it.
Still, I’m eager to get drywall in, to have the house painted and to re-energize the space. It already feels so different and flows so different. I keep associating the house as a “she”. I think she feels happy mostly for the changes. It’s as if we have earned her trust thus far and now she is willing to let us go this final mile to see what we will do. It feels like we are messing with her flow, her heartbeat. Many steps are taken with care to get her set up for smooth walls, new clothes so to speak. I like to think we are working with her, recognizing her attributes and pulling as much potential as we can out of her. We are not giving up on her and so she is not giving up on us.
I keep thinking once we are done life will seem polished and perfect again. We can have friends over and feel good about our space. I miss that - it has been too long. But the truth is, it feels good now just to shift things around. Life is loosening up, and I feel energized and hopeful. I think we all do. As if finally we are setting off an adventure we’ve talked about for years.
I forgot that we have the spirit of hard work and so we don’t mind getting dirty or being sore. It really is a way to ensure the flow makes sense to us and also to save money. I do get a certain buzz feeling capable and contributing by using a saw and crowbar to pull it all down.
There’s more natural light now, more than there ever was and the flow is looser, less constricted. We have optimized as much as we can without going up or out. I like that. We don’t need more, we just need redesign.