Life is a Beautiful Bastard

I always remember something my bestie told me once, “happiness is a choice;” it certainly is. A few weeks ago I went to see a friend perform at The Improv. She is taking classes at the Yes Lab, where (as far as I understand it) they teach people how to say “yes” in the moment. I thought it was an interesting philosophy not only for humor but life in general. I had a conversation with her mother on the way over to the show. She was talking about how she lives in the moment. The woman is literally fighting to live and positivity seems to come easily for her. It’s so intrinsic to her personality. I wish it came easy to me but I fight tooth and nail for a good outlook.

Since loosing my dad and having Miss M, I have never been more aware of the sheer importance of this moment. For me, it is a constant lesson that life is too short and we should try to say "yes" as often as we can. I thought the concept was pounded in to my head last October but I'm finding it will be a lesson I learn it over and over again (every time I welcome it in like an old friend... who needs a drink).

For some reason, I can't bring myself to lament over death anymore, it just is what it is. If there is anything I am grateful for it's my new ability to catch myself during life moments and think about how I can enjoy whatever it is I'm participating in or if I can't enjoy it, how I can be constructive about growing from it.

Just the other day, I was thinking about how to teach Miss M that death is part of this whole gig. Without being overly morbid, I consider it an important lesson that might help her embrace the moments of her constantly evolving life and relationships (at least more than I was able to my first 34 years). Why does our society try to sweep death under the rug? We will all come to the end of our ride - that is the surest piece of this whole puzzle. Always it is too soon. Always there is one last story we want to hear, one last memory to be made; and then there are the millions that make the last ones so bittersweet. Truth be told: that is what makes life beautiful and bastardly (yes I'm making that up) at the same time; if it never changed, we would never evolve or think of it quite as fondly.