I woke up at 6:30 to birds chirping lightly in the trees outside. It’s a sound of spring and one that is most noticeable to me when the air is heavy with humidity and it feels like the sky will let loose with a rain shower at any minute. I love Spring that way; things feel more alive.
The Wifey Flavor
My eyes are opening to so many new perspectives these days. I think it's because I’m newly married. While I hate the sentiment that "marriage changes everything" it has changed me a bit and I am trying to embrace it. The stability comforts and scares me all in one breath.
It is over: the chase and the possibilities. There are so many futures that can be lived with past lovers or potential lovers: fantastic futures involving me and some rich man who adores me; or me and some foreign man I find in a nice café off a piazza in Europe; or me alone with many lovers throughout my life who never quite fulfill me the way the relationship I have with myself fulfills me.
None of this is true anymore because I have chosen me and D. A lifetime of possibilities that include family and travel and commitment wait for us. We are getting used to a more committed love that weathers the good to come and the bad that will touch our lives. Well maybe not we but me. I think D has always been comfortable with the idea of us. I have as well but I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of commitment. It is hard: there is no where to run. Considering we've been together for seven years, I think I was just fooling myself with the concept of an easy out because since I met him, I always choose D.
I have never been definitive with choice but ultimately life is about enjoying what you have on your plate, right?! It as if you are sitting around a table with good friends and you all order entrees. It bothers me when people don’t order an entree they really want because someone else at the table has ordered it. I used to be that person. My catholic, 50s, large family upbringing taught me to spread the love and try something different so everyone at the table could get a taste. I’m all for sharing but when it comes to enjoying the meal in front of your face, you have to go with what you really want. That is the only way to truly enjoy the experience and life is too short. As I sink more into my role as wifey, it is a new flavor I am training my palette to really taste and appreciate.
Here I am with my meal: marriage served on a bed of world travel seasoned with adventure. For dessert: the possibility of kids, if I'm not too full.
It is over: the chase and the possibilities. There are so many futures that can be lived with past lovers or potential lovers: fantastic futures involving me and some rich man who adores me; or me and some foreign man I find in a nice café off a piazza in Europe; or me alone with many lovers throughout my life who never quite fulfill me the way the relationship I have with myself fulfills me.
None of this is true anymore because I have chosen me and D. A lifetime of possibilities that include family and travel and commitment wait for us. We are getting used to a more committed love that weathers the good to come and the bad that will touch our lives. Well maybe not we but me. I think D has always been comfortable with the idea of us. I have as well but I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of commitment. It is hard: there is no where to run. Considering we've been together for seven years, I think I was just fooling myself with the concept of an easy out because since I met him, I always choose D.
I have never been definitive with choice but ultimately life is about enjoying what you have on your plate, right?! It as if you are sitting around a table with good friends and you all order entrees. It bothers me when people don’t order an entree they really want because someone else at the table has ordered it. I used to be that person. My catholic, 50s, large family upbringing taught me to spread the love and try something different so everyone at the table could get a taste. I’m all for sharing but when it comes to enjoying the meal in front of your face, you have to go with what you really want. That is the only way to truly enjoy the experience and life is too short. As I sink more into my role as wifey, it is a new flavor I am training my palette to really taste and appreciate.
Here I am with my meal: marriage served on a bed of world travel seasoned with adventure. For dessert: the possibility of kids, if I'm not too full.
Inside the Amy Studio
Inside the Actors Studio is the Emmy-nominated, longest-running original series on the Bravo cable television channel, hosted by James Lipton. The program, which premiered in 1994, is currently taped at Pace University's New York City campus. Most of the show is a one-on-one interview conducted by Lipton followed by the host submitting a questionnaire to the guest. The questionnaire concept was originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire. The ten questions Lipton asks are:
What is your favorite word? creative
What is your least favorite word? hate
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? loud art, texture, serendipitous experiences
What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? thoughtlessness
What sound or noise do you love? laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? crashing metal pans
What is your favorite curse word? fuck
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? writer
What profession would you not like to do? sales
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? well done; way to reach your potential
What is your favorite word? creative
What is your least favorite word? hate
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? loud art, texture, serendipitous experiences
What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? thoughtlessness
What sound or noise do you love? laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? crashing metal pans
What is your favorite curse word? fuck
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? writer
What profession would you not like to do? sales
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? well done; way to reach your potential
One Skinny Cow Away...
I'm in a bit of a tizzy over the fact that if I want to loose 1 lb a week to get down to a remotely un-aboriginal size, I have to cut my daily caloric intake by 500 calories. WHO eats 1379 calories a day (and is this before or after working out)? I realized this yesterday and was pretty much in shock. You would have thought I was an anorexic martyr with the way I acted about the lack of food in my system. I noticed this upon closer review of My Calorie Counter. I spent about an hour adjusting measurements and figuring out intake, etc. I saw a nice little note that reminded: if you wanted to loose 1 pound per week, you MIGHT drop 500 calories from your diet (as one lb is equal to approx 3500 calories).*
* The American College of Sports Medicine recommends a minimum of 1200 calories per day for females and 1800 calories per day for males.
Seriously? Fuck that! Who eats 1200 calories a day or needs to be reminded that’s the LOWEST you should go! How DO these skinny Bs do it? I can barely make it by on the male anorexic measurement of 1800. I came in at a cool 1985 yesterday minus 443 calories for working out. That’s a grand total of 1542, which is not a lot of calories but still about a Skinny Cow more than my daily allotted intake.
What’s a girl to do? Stop eating?! It turns out all this time, the skinny B’s who said they weren’t eating or just looked like they weren’t eating really WEREN'T eating. I thought they were just pretending. Guess I was wrong. This pissed me off until a friend reminded me that it’s worse when a skinny B can eat anything she wants and still be a rail, which annoyed me more!
So hear I am: 33, unemployed, always a fat girl at heart, realizing if I want to look hot in jeans I have to put down the chicken leg and the yogurt and the 1% milk. My war is fought in numbers right now and every 10 count. A serving of 1% is 102 calories while a serving of Skim is 86. What a way to go: consuming water with milk flavor!
What’s worse is this was in my head all day. So when my hubby came home, this is what I had to talk to him about. It’s like reaching the anti-amy pinnacle: the housewifey stuck at home, running “mall” errands and counting calories. No Kidding: yesterday at one point I thought, “Oh! I’ll have a piece of gum” (as if that was a treat). How pathetic! Embarrassingly I did come to terms with the fact that my normal treats were B&J’s Cherry Garcia or a cookie from the grocery store, and really that was getting me nowhere.
So gum it is! Thank God for Orbitz these days with the aspartame ridden flavors like Fabulous Frutini and Bubble Mint. They make skinny fun, as chewing slowly kills me.
* The American College of Sports Medicine recommends a minimum of 1200 calories per day for females and 1800 calories per day for males.
Seriously? Fuck that! Who eats 1200 calories a day or needs to be reminded that’s the LOWEST you should go! How DO these skinny Bs do it? I can barely make it by on the male anorexic measurement of 1800. I came in at a cool 1985 yesterday minus 443 calories for working out. That’s a grand total of 1542, which is not a lot of calories but still about a Skinny Cow more than my daily allotted intake.
What’s a girl to do? Stop eating?! It turns out all this time, the skinny B’s who said they weren’t eating or just looked like they weren’t eating really WEREN'T eating. I thought they were just pretending. Guess I was wrong. This pissed me off until a friend reminded me that it’s worse when a skinny B can eat anything she wants and still be a rail, which annoyed me more!
So hear I am: 33, unemployed, always a fat girl at heart, realizing if I want to look hot in jeans I have to put down the chicken leg and the yogurt and the 1% milk. My war is fought in numbers right now and every 10 count. A serving of 1% is 102 calories while a serving of Skim is 86. What a way to go: consuming water with milk flavor!
What’s worse is this was in my head all day. So when my hubby came home, this is what I had to talk to him about. It’s like reaching the anti-amy pinnacle: the housewifey stuck at home, running “mall” errands and counting calories. No Kidding: yesterday at one point I thought, “Oh! I’ll have a piece of gum” (as if that was a treat). How pathetic! Embarrassingly I did come to terms with the fact that my normal treats were B&J’s Cherry Garcia or a cookie from the grocery store, and really that was getting me nowhere.
So gum it is! Thank God for Orbitz these days with the aspartame ridden flavors like Fabulous Frutini and Bubble Mint. They make skinny fun, as chewing slowly kills me.
Oh Happy Day!
This is posted two weeks after the fact but really why I decided to get a blog going....finally.
Producing, packaging, and addressing our wedding invites was the moment I had been waiting for! It has been one of the more exciting and fun pieces of what will come to be known as my whole wedding planning fiasco. The creation and compilation provided a certain level of clarity nothing else in this whole adventure has revealed.
I was on my home turf: paper and envelopes, color and font, mail pieces that would make a recipient smile and feel loved. My heart soars at correspondence through the U.S. mail (no big surprise to anyone close to me). Nothing could be more uplifting than to receive a hand addressed piece of goodness from a friend faraway or just one block over. This was my debut to our guests, our closest friends and family members. This was my chance to send them something bright and colorful and happy. It implored relaxation and enjoyment. All I wanted was to be casual and intimate.
So why did I wait so long to get the ball rolling? I have no idea. 16 months of engagement and I had yet found the time (minus some pipe dreams about Papel Picado flags and mulling over how to make it work in my head). Job loss didn't inspire me. December crept in with holiday mail trickling through our mailbox (truly the most wonderful time of the year). Usually by December 1 I have a hot mix celebrating the great tunes I have discovered through the year and cool holiday message to package it in. So as I began to once again procrastinate via Christmas card creating, Andy had a come to Jesus conversation with me about setting my designs aside to get our invites out and possibly the debut Rooster Plumbing holiday card. He was right. I frowningly placed my yearly holiday card on the backburner and focused on the task at hand.
Never mind bad timing as far as available printers or the lack of cash to have these puppies properly letterpressed like any good event deserves, I was in the rush hour of printing seasons and now was not the time to lolly gag any longer. Rather I went for an ounce of frugality and came out proud of my finished product. I like to think it was a beacon of color in a sea of green, red and blue holiday cards.